Happy Birthday, America!
You know what else I’m all about?
I really love America. And I really like demonstrating that love with an abundance of red, white, and blue. I’m basically a walking Independence Day parade, every single day of the week.
Fourth of July, though, is special. The Fourth of July is America’s birthday, which means everybody gets to be as patriotic as I am.
I, meanwhile, have the freedom to take my patriotism to new and even more ridiculous levels!
In honor of this momentous holiday, I dressed the whole office up, minus a couple of communists who refused to participate.*
*Is it still PC to say that? It’s not PC to say that anymore, is it? Sorry HR. Our office freedom haters are allowed to express any viewpoint they like.**
**And, apparently I’m also not supposed to call people ‘freedom haters’ for refusing to be roped into my photo ops. Whatever. I can’t help that they choose to celebrate liberty by not participating in my totalitarian regime of fun.